I saw an article and it sparked some thoughts, so I want to share them.

It’s been almost 12 years since I graduated from university, and I’m on the verge of becoming a father of two. Yet, I still sometimes feel quite insecure. As I approach 35, my skills are decent, my income is stable, but occasionally, I find myself feeling lost. Recently, several friends have sent me QQ messages expressing similar feelings, prompting me to ponder why such feelings arise.

Software development is just one industry, much like being a chef is an industry. Would a chef who has been working for over 10 years become the president? It’s likely they will remain a chef, perhaps for life. Software developers are merely part of an industry, serving people, and I suspect chefs also experience moments of confusion, just as we do. Around 2005, when I was doing Japanese outsourcing work in Shanghai, I had colleagues who originally came from the culinary field.

When I Was Young:

• When young, my goals were simple: to learn technology. It took me about 1-2 years to learn PHP, followed by nearly 10 years of studying C#, SQL Server, and Oracle. Those who have goals do not feel lost; they focus on acquiring knowledge.
• In my youth, desires were limited; earning 5000 yuan a month brought me great happiness. Life was stress-free and healthy, allowing me to focus on mastering technology, finding a good job, and earning a high salary.
• Young people can indulge in many fantasies, which may seem pointless, but they can also hold many beautiful ideals and daydream.

As I Grew Older:

• Working for someone else inevitably leads to a bottleneck. Good companies do not hire every day; their business also has limits. As your skills improve, you may find that you're too old to have any competitive advantage; the companies you once dreamed of joining won't hire someone nearing 40.
• As I age, my body also starts to decline. I need to settle down, raise children, support a spouse, and care for aging parents, who may require assistance too. Various living expenses cannot simply be covered with a few thousand yuan.
• After acquiring a vast amount of knowledge, converting it into RMB is not guaranteed. Without that conversion, many desires remain unfulfilled. You see many people driving fancy cars, living in lavish homes, surrounded by numerous companions, while you approach 40 with empty pockets.
• Many dreams from youth may not convert into RMB. I aimed to build a perfect development framework, but after ten years of hard work, selling it proved difficult, resulting in wasted time.
• Over the years, many former friends have found success, but you may still find yourself a low-key worker, often pondering about what the future holds. It is quite possible to work all your life.
• In technology, getting laid off means losing everything; no one pays your salary on time anymore, and without working, there’s no stable income or sense of security.
• Some industries make employees more valuable as they age, gaining more clients, while technical professionals find themselves on a downward slope with diminishing energy, ability, and motivation.
• Bosses are not printing money; they need to control costs, so they tend not to hire highly budgeted employees. They prefer employees within budget constraints; everyone wants to make a lot of money, but the owners can't attract that many clients.

Adjusting My Mindset:

• The vast majority of people are ordinary; not everyone can achieve extraordinary success. Less than 1% of people can succeed, while 99% or more are ordinary throughout their lives.
• Most talented individuals showcase their skills before 35; after that, they tend to settle into ordinary lives, and it becomes rare for them to achieve breakthroughs as their personalities become established.
• Stop comparing yourself constantly with successful people; occasionally look down and observe the janitors, servers, and public servants. This can bring some comfort.
• Life isn’t just about making money. Good health, a happy family, smooth relationships, healthy children, and harmonious colleague relations are all precious assets.
• Life is actually quite short; a decade can pass in a blink. Learn to live well, adjust each day, and think about the North Korean army living in dire conditions, experiencing hunger. Compared to them, we have much to be grateful for.

Facts:

• Not having invested effort in youth makes it hard to reap good rewards later; unless you win the lottery, at least you need to work to buy tickets. Success and achievement come from dedicated labor.
• The world is vast, and society is developing; there is a constant need for technical services. As technical professionals, we simply labor to meet society's technical needs, so as long as society remains stable and united, we won’t need to worry about going hungry.
• Everyone wants to succeed; don’t doctors want immense success? Don’t teachers aspire to greatness? Everyone desires significant success, but only one headmaster, dean, or leader exists—everyone else is ordinary.
• Without the necessary skill, being made a department manager would not last long without being removed by others. If you lack skills and manage a company of 1000, you wouldn’t be able to pay salaries after two months, leading to closure within a year.
• People feel lost, but during moments of confusion, don’t turn to drugs, gambling, or immerse yourself in online games. Instead, take care of your mental health by watching healthy movies, listening to music, or chatting with friends.

The best janitor is likely just a group leader among others, like the team leader of temporary workers in Hangzhou’s West Lake District. Who’s the best gardener or chef? It’s the same; the best programmer is probably the project leader. Everyone wants to be the boss but few desire to face the hardships that come with that role. If you really want colossal success, step out on your own, and you'll recognize how challenging it is. Working for someone else at least guarantees a regular salary; everyone shares the burdens, and weekends offer a break, with no need for late nights.

During moments of uncertainty, just visiting my blog can make things much better.

There Are Many Forms of Happiness:

• You have a young and beautiful wife.
• You have a healthy and smart child.
• You maintain a strong body.
• You can sing and dance, showcasing various talents.
• You enjoy fishing and embroidery.
• Jirijiara enjoys writing a few soft articles, and the responses from others bring immense pleasure; occasionally watching beautiful women online or American films can also be delightful. Encouraging children occasionally and gathering with old friends for food and drink brings happiness and joy.

Everyone aspires to be like Bill Gates, but sadly, you may not have such a mother (a senior manager at IBM?) or such a father (a prominent lawyer in New York?). You can’t gain admission to such prestigious universities (Is Harvard easy to get into?), and you certainly can’t afford to buy software products from others (When factoring in past USD salaries, can you purchase licenses like DOS from 30-40 years ago based on historical currency rates? It’s unlikely you can buy those rights now).

Success often isn’t accidental; it’s quite the opposite; very few national leaders come from ordinary backgrounds; most are children of influential figures. Being able to climb out from the rural mountains of China to settle in a paradise like this brings contentment. To be content is to find joy in life; we cannot be at odds with ourselves.