Searching for the Quiet in My Heart

This article was extracted from my early NetEase blog. NetEase Blog is no longer operating, but looking back, these words are still quite interesting, so I decided to move them over as intact as possible. Mainly as a record; after all, it was a long time ago, so the quality of the writing, images, and links may all be affected.

This article was originally published on September 29, 2009. I was about 20 years old then and was in university.

In a hurry, 13 years have passed. In these 13 years I have written countless compositions and countless articles. Apart from the first excellent piece from primary school, the only one I still have not forgotten is that piece, "Searching for the Quiet in My Heart." I remember that at the time it was the placement exam in the first year of high school. The essay topic was "Searching for __." I picked up the pen and, without thinking about anything, wrote down the words "Searching for the Quiet in My Heart." Now I have to admit that behind this title there really were those stories intertwined with ignorant youth. Perhaps only that main character would know this story… But an exam room is still an exam room. It ended only with an ordinary article, secretly sealing everything inside that short Chinese title, which counted as an explanation for the memories of that year. Other than me, no one could truly understand that article.

Beautiful memories are still memories in the end. One year, two years, three years, four years, time eroded this memory bit by bit, but every erosion seemed to deepen the memory once again. Later, the goddess of fate strangely directed a farce that no one could have imagined… In the end, I was still defeated. Thinking quietly, I suddenly understood that some things are not meant to be forgotten, but meant to be remembered!! All the un-beautiful things in life are treasures of time. They cannot be forgotten, otherwise you will find that your whole life seems to have nothing in it. Do not try to forget. Try to remember firmly: your first heartbreak, your first failure, your… everything, everything will become beautiful memories in life!

Searching for the quiet in my heart. It has been so long, so long since I had a chance to be quiet alone, no chance to lie on the grass, look at the sky, and think about everything of my own… I miss lying on a stone bench as a child, looking at the sky and imagining things. I miss the times when I could be quiet alone. Searching… Searching for the quiet in my heart should not be a period. Perhaps it is only a beginning!